A shitty dream
I've been progressively getting into dream symbolism lately, but it's been a long, slow road because dreams are so abstract. Most of the time I wake up and, even if I remember the dream, I have no idea how to even put them into words. What's even worse are the dreams that are so weird, they make me question if symbolism is real and if the whole thing is just subconscious nonsense.
Let's take last week's dream for example: In it, I'm with the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta as they record an episode (so already we're off to a weird start). For some reason, the producer asks each housewife if they can take a shit on camera. Each housewife tries, but after a second, they give up. Suddenly, in walks reality star Nene Leakes who, after a long hiatus, is back, baby! She struts in and is like: "Out of my way! Want me to shit on camera? No problem! Watch this!" She bends down and, with the camera zoomed on her ass, starts straining to shit. It's obscenely graphic, and since I can't lucid dream, I have no control. In fact, I'm physically not even there, I'm inside the camera, getting a full, uncut view of everything.
It felt like torture, and within the dream it felt endless, like it went on for hours. The whole time I kept wondering, Why can't I wake up? As for Nene Leakes, she was grunting and sweating and all "Ooo, chile!" the whole time.
And then, the moment happens: she starts to defecate. The thickest snake-like shit slithers out of her ass like a power hose. It's endless. There's shit everywhere, all over the floor, all over the walls. The producers are ecstatic as they start celebrating and jumping up and down and hugging each other and crying.
Fortunately, once that part of the dream is over, I'm back in my physical body and I'm at a party hosted by Rihanna? She's glowing and going around touching people and ordaining them with the same glow. She walks up to me and touches me, which makes other people suddenly want to be my friend. They all follow me into this huge party full of IRL friends and dream friends. We're having a great time, but then a screen lowers from the ceiling and, although no one says anything, there's an understanding that we're all about to watch a brand new episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'm horrified, because although no one else knows what's in store, I do. And I was not about to sit through that shit again (pun intended).
In a panic, I run out of the party and stand outside on a street corner. For some reason (even though I don't see this in the dream), I could sense, telepathically, that Nene Leakes was in her mansion somewhere shocked (shocked!) that producers left her 8-hour uncut, raw footage of her uncontrollable shitting in the show. She's embarrassed and humiliated and vows to sue the producers.
As I stand outside the party, I see an IRL friend helping two old women out of a car. I run to help, but the old women are slow. As they take their sweet time, I start to feel bored and miss the fun party happening inside. But when I go to leave, I remember Nene Leakes, get a 'Nam flashback, and decide to help the old women instead. The dream gratefully ends there.
Interpretation
So obviously I woke up thinking WTF was that. The only interpretation I can think of is a bit literal, but I think my subconscious is telling me that I'm increasingly finding reality TV to be shit and that I think it's bad for me. A part of me likes reality TV because it keeps me social, and it's easy to make friends when we're all watching the same trashy shows, but the lesson of the dream seems to be that I belong outside of it. The dream ends with me standing with the old women, who represent wisdom. So basically the dream is saying I should reject low brow entertainment and social popularity for quiet wisdom, peace, and introspection. Or so I think? 1
However, a problem I have with dream symbolism is how spiritually narcissistic it all feels sometimes. Is my subconscious really saying this, or am I just full of shit (😏)? Who knows.
While editing this I thought of a second interpretation that might be more accurate, since dreams are rarely this literal. Usually when you dream about someone, the dream isn't really about that person but about the emotion around that person. When I think of Nene Leakes I think of narcissism and delusion, so I wonder if the dream was actually a warning to my extroverted/narcissistic side that's eager to please, eager to overshare, eager to be popular, because that mentality can backfire on me and leave me feeling regretful and humiliated. The lesson could be to abandon that obnoxious/social/extroverted side and choose wisdom (old women) instead. Although, who really knows? Could just be a weird dream that I'm trying WAY too hard to intellectualize!↩