Do it for the story
I don't like doing a lot of things, but sometimes I just do things because I know I'll get an amusing anecdote from it. In fact, that's my main motivation for most things. Sure I might be miserable, and sure I might be surrounded by people I don't know or care about, but at least I'll get a story out of it.
I once was watching a Simon Amstell stand-up special a while back, and in it he tells a story about an experience where he and his boyfriend are running down this hill in the rain and they are all laughing and enjoying themselves. As he runs down the hill he thinks to himself, "Wow this will be a great story to tell someone someday." Then, when he's actually telling the story to someone, the person asks him: "Wow, that sounds like fun. What were you thinking at that time?" And he responds: "Well, I guess I was thinking of this exact moment. Right now. Telling you this."
So in a way, I guess it is a bit odd to always have that thought in the back of your head. It's probably better to be present. But I feel like it's a way to put a positive spin on things. Like, "Yeah, I don't want to do this, but at least I'm getting something out of it in return." And usually I get my most hilarious stories from something stupid that happened while being forced to attend something I didn't really want to. I'm also very observant and have a pretty good memory, so I let nothing slip (sort of).
I've noticed that when I do something and it's boring or nothing interesting happens, I barely remember it or I only have vague memories of it. For example, my aunt recently went to Peru with her travel group. My husband and I went there a couple years ago, so they did a Zoom call with us to pick our brains about our experience. They kept hounding us over what restaurants did we enjoy and what amazing food did we recommend.
Embarrassingly, I drew a complete blank and couldn't remember any food I had. All I could remember was that it was "good," but that was it. I also remembered standing outside a touristy place that was packed with people standing out on the street. I remember that, but I don't remember the food cause, honestly, food isn't that interesting to me. Unless the food genuinely blows my socks off, I probably won't remember what I ate.
So maybe that's why I'm always chasing these highs, these experiences, because life would feel like a blur without them. Anecdotes keep me present, keep me centered, keep me grounded. Otherwise it just feels like too much (or not enough) is happening. Almost like I'm in a dream. When I'm constantly moving, constantly doing something, I feel awake. I'm not sure what that says about me, and I know it's probably healthier to learn to be content with a slower-paced, monotonous kind of life, but I don't know how to do that currently.
Maybe when I'm an old lady.