Hospitals are weird
My husband had to have a minor surgery a few weeks ago. Before they wheeled him into the operating room, I slapped him on the foot and told him he'd be okay before walking out with a garbage bag full of his clothes. I sat in the waiting room for a few hours; it was so early, not even the Starbucks downstairs was open.
And then I started hearing all these "code blues" over the intercom. So, in my half-asleep, non-caffeinated state, I started panicking. Were those code blues for him? What if he died and my last words to him were, "You'll be fine"? And instead of kissing him goodbye I slapped his foot like a bro?? What if I have to live with that for the rest of my life???
Literally a minute later I got a call from the doctor saying he was fine. 😑
I went to his room and he was high on meds but otherwise okay. He pulled up his hospital gown so I could see his scar and I was shocked by what I saw. They had shaved everything.
I started laughing. I asked him if he was aware they were going to do that, and he said no. My husband's a pretty hairy guy, so I joked that they probably needed multiple cans of shaving cream.
After we got our laughs out, I then said: "It's kind of weird, though, right? Someone works their ass off in medical school and their job is to be the ball-shaver."
He agreed and said, "Yeah, it feels kind of...violating."
I guess that's always the fear when you go to the hospital and get any procedure done. I recently had to get my first mammogram and that was also weird, but at least I was conscious for that one and could look into the woman's eyes as she squeezed my boob into a machine. I remember asking her if she had ever seen the show Weeds1 (she looked super offended by that question). But being passed out and waking up to smooth genitals and weird writings on your body feel slightly worse. Although medical professionals are professionals, they're also human, too.
I read in the news that hospitals only recently stopped giving non-consensual pelvic exams to women patients under anesthesia. And by "recently," I mean 2024. Sometimes I feel like, when you go to the hospital, they do everything they can to maintain the patient's dignity, but all that goes away the second the patient is under. Now they can throw the gown off and get to work because they have 25 other surgeries to get to that day and you're just #2.
When I was a little girl, I was always in and out of the hospital for back issues. I was a very shy kid and hated being undressed or being poked by strangers. When I would try to express an opinion or enact any boundary whatsoever, my mom would treat me like I was being difficult and spoiled. "These people are professionals!" paired by a yanking of a gown or pulled off underwear. It's like we created this culture that you're not even allowed to express concern without people looking at you funny or judging you for being overly sensitive.
I guess when my husband said he felt slightly "violated," it made me feel validated. Sort of like, "Ahh, I knew it. We all feel this way." Because I always feel slightly violated when I go to the doctor, but I also feel a little ashamed for thinking it. And my husband is the type of person who loves doctors. He'll find any excuse he can to go get checkups. He's the complete opposite of me, who shies away from most medical professionals. So the fact that even he could say, "Yeah, it felt a little weird," made me feel vindicated.
Because we should be able to say that. Going to the doctor is weird.
Necessary, but weird.
There's a scene where the main character endures an awkward mammogram because she has to investigate the mammographer.↩