To dress up is to be human
I've done more shopping within the past few weeks than I've done in the past few years. I'm not a huge shopper. I don't like looking through racks of clothes and then trying things on and then (the worst part) making decisions. I'm the type of person who usually waits until I absolutely need something, something specific, and only then will I look for it, and usually online where I can do it on the couch while passively watching something stupid on TV. This form of shopping isn't that bad to me (when the clothes actually arrive and I have to try them on and/or send them back is a different story). But lately I've had to do some serious shopping as my current wardrobe is a bit on the casual side and my upcoming trip will involve me going to "fancy" places (allegedly) and having to impress people. So obviously shorts and hoodies ain't gonna cut it.
These past few weeks have reminded me of all the reasons I've hated shopping: it takes forever, clothes are too baggy/too tight and/or fit weirdly, can't find anything, it's expensive AF if there's no sale going, it takes all day, it's not fun, it's exhausting.
I've always hated shopping cause my mom was obsessed with it. As a child, I have so many memories of being dragged to department stores and being trapped there forever, one time for six hours. I remember telling myself, "When I grow up, I will never shop for anything ever again." Unfortunately, as I've grown up, I've realized that I do need to shop for things and, annoyingly, I do like looking good. So now this feels contradictory. I hate shopping, but I also don't want to look like a broke college kid all the time.
One weekend I went shopping with some friends, and the contrast between the way they shopped and the way I shopped really illuminated the difference between people who like doing this and the ones who don't. My friends are really into fashion, so when we went to stores they already knew where to go, already knew what the stores had, knew which items were a bargain and which weren't.
My friend pulled out some denim jumpsuit and said she'd been coming there every weekend to see if the price had dropped yet so she could get it. I told her, "Oh, that's smart!" But in my head I was thinking, "That's a lot of work!" I can't imagine being so into shopping I'm hunting for deals and hitting these places more than once a year tops.
Since my husband and I only have one car, I've had to drag him along on my shopping excursions and he's been in agony. One day, while leaving the outlet mall after being there for hours, he exclaimed, "Why can't we just wear potato sacks!!" And although I rolled my eyes, I understood the frustration. Because fashion is largely just social/societal pressure anyway. I probably could wear a potato sack if there wasn't this constant, looming fear of judgement. Plus, when you're a woman, there's this additional pressure to look "feminine" all the time. Like, you can wear a potato sack, but you need to wear a belt on top to cinch your waist and accentuate your curves so that people know you're a woman. 🙄
Yes, it's ridiculous, but I don't think I have the luxury and/or privilege to not be a rule-follower. After wasting all this money, hopefully I'll feel even closer to being human.