I always start new things with ravenous momentum and then immediately lose interest. It's like I'm always chasing that dopamine hit instead of just being content with the consistency. It's extremely unfortunate because one of my gifts is that I learn things extremely fast, can adapt very easily, but then I drop the ball. I get bored. I chase butterflies, and then I'm gone.

I once took a test that said I was an INTP, a personality type that could "rule the world" if it weren't for our chronic procrastination. sigh I guess...

Anyway, back to the blog. I won't abandon this again. I won't abandon this again. I won't abandon this again. "Sorry to repeat myself, but it'll help you remember." - Marge Simpson

Anyway, let's take a look at some posts I had sitting in drafts that I never finished. Because so much time has passed, I literally have no idea what I even meant with half of these:

Aug 3, 2023: something about majors and chemistry

Draft: (empty)

I think this was supposed to be about how I wished I majored in chemistry instead of Journalism after discovering how much fun I was having learning about cosmetic chemistry. Ironically, I no longer dabble in formulations anymore. I lost interest pretty fast. Story of my life.

Aug 3, 2023: drunk friendships aren't real

Draft: (empty)

Hmm, feels like a random shower thought. Not sure how I was planning to turn this into a full post.

Sept 26, 2023: Monetize your life!

Draft: something about the moving guy, selling yourself, etc.

I sort of remember this one. Basically, after I moved, the moving guy kept trying to sell me on this app that was similar to Tiktok but not? And he told me I could make a ton of money just showing off my life. I was like, "Nah, my life's too boring." But it made me think about how there's this pressure to monetize every second of our existence.

Sept 26, 2023: the art of silence / sitting with yourself for idea creation

Draft: (empty)

I think this was supposed to be about how the best way to generate ideas is to just sit with oneself in complete silence and let your brain go into autopilot. Meh.

Sept 26, 2023: 7 years, the year of completion, combing out locs, etc.

Draft: (empty)

I might actually still write about this. It's too long to explain here, but something about the spiritual connection of the number 7.

Oct 11, 2023: empathy vs compassion (buddhism)

Draft: (empty)

I have no idea what I was planning to do with this. Feels like a stoner idea though, so it was probably dumb.

And we're caught up to the present. I wonder if the real reason I've been avoiding this blog is because I started it right when my dog died and so the blog is just filled with this energy of loss. I'm still struggling to transition this blog away from that, but in a way, it is realistic to what's currently going on inside my head.