We're all old or young to someone
I was hanging out with some acquaintances when I brought up that I had a birthday recently. The woman I was talking to asked how old I was. I told her I was 40 and then braced myself for the inevitable βDayum, I didn't know you were that old!" reaction I get from people. But instead, she didn't say anything. She just sort of smiled at me and then said (almost to herself), "Wow, so young." Wait, what?
So young?
When the woman said that, I was so confused because she looked quite young herself. Before, I had assumed we were around the same age, but after the comment, I wondered if she was actually in her 50s. I talked about it with my husband afterwards and we were both like, "There's no way that woman was in her 50s." But it was the only theory that made sense. Typically, the older you get, the "younger" everyone else feels. Age is relative.
When I was a child, in second grade, the sixth graders would come to our class to read to us. I remember thinking they were so big and old, almost like teenagers. I remembered how they would bend over and "Aww!" at us like we were babies. Looking back, those "big" sixth graders were only 12. I have a friend who has a 12-year-old kid and they're so tiny! It's amusing to think I used to be at an age where 12 felt intimidatingly "old" to me. But that's the nature of age. It changes its relativity to your own.
When I first entered the corporate world, I'd assumed everyone was around my age (which was 25). All my co-workers felt youthful, were really into sharing memes, would send emails full of emojis, and would get really wasted during company parties. But gradually I started noticing things about them, like how they had gray hair at their temples or how their pop culture references were older than mine. It took me ages to realize most of my co-workers were actually in their mid-30s, and when I discovered this, I was shocked. Thirty-five felt very old to me at that time, and so I assumed it would look different than the reality.
But once I got to 35 myself, I realized why all my coworkers seemed so young. There wasn't this huge, transformative physical (and even mental) change from 25 to 35 (or at least, not as drastic as I was expecting). These days I now think of 30-year-olds as "young," even though I know they probably think they're old.
So does that mean my acquaintance is right? Is 40 young? If age is always relative, when does one actually become old? I was once talking to an aunt who told me she turned 60 recently. "Can you imagine?β she said. "Me? Sixty? I can't even believe it. I just don't feel that old. Sixty isnβt old anymore, is it?β
I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but my thought was, "Yes, 60 is old! I have grandparents who died in their 60s.β I know we all live longer than we used to, but where do we draw the line?
I guess in two ways: we can all stop being agephobic and just accept it, or abandon our notions and embrace relativity. We're all young or old to someone, and thus, we're neither. We're just numbers, and your interpretation of such is entirely subjective.
If that's the case, then I can't wait to turn 50. Then 40 will feel "young" once again.