Why couples love board games
Couples who don't have children all do one thing together: play board games. I feel like that's all me and my husband and all our friends do when we're together. Someone cooks and makes drinks, while the men get way too into the game and the women step outside to smoke and talk.
One time, my husband and I were playing a game where you had to give hints and have the other players guess the color that was associated with the clues. After getting in an argument with another player who said my clues were terrible, I felt nervous about giving the second hint. When I threw it out there, the only person who got it right was my husband. Then, when it was his turn, no one got his clues except me. We ended up winning the game.
On the ride home, my husband turned to me and said, "Aww, you really know me." I rolled my eyes cause I thought that was an odd thing to say. We've been together for a decade, why wouldn't I know him? But then I realized what he was really saying: "We won the couples' competition!" Because, as pathetic as it sounds, these games you play with couples often do dissolve into a relationship competition. And it's interesting how something as innocuous as board games is used as the barometer.
It sort of reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons where Marge hosts a dinner party for the other couples. It becomes awkward when Milhouse's parents show up, as they fight in front of everyone and make things tense. It all culminates to a game where Milhouse's dad asks his wife to guess the picture he's drawing. She says she doesn't know, and so he responds, "It's dignity! Don't you know dignity when you see it?!" Exasperated, Milhouse's mom stands up and asks for a divorce. It's one of my favorite episodes, but it's interesting how it was a game that revealed the fractures in their relationship.
Maybe that's why my husband was happy. A weaker couple would have fumbled and argued over the clues and not have been on the same page. Is this the real reason why couples play board games? I have another friend who often jokes, "Whoever wins this match has the strongest relationship." And if me and my husband loses, he'll point to us and scream, "I knew it!" Maybe that's why couples like board games so much. It's all just an elaborate excuse to have that long conversation with your spouse/S.O. on the drive home about, "What's up with so-and-so? Did they seem a little tense to you?"
As a staunch individualist, I find all of this annoying. I often prefer to play against my husband than with (and he's usually the same way). I hate the "coupleship" of couples, or how (especially women) are expected to sew themselves to their husbands, how every interaction gets filtered through the awkward intimacy of who we're attached to.
I wish I could avoid it, say it's bullshit, try to pretend like I'm above it, but based on what my husband told me in the car, it seems to be unavoidable. Everyone's thinking it. All I can do is play the game.